Terrible Writing Advice – Chapter 4: Environmentalism

I told you that you would pay for this, Captain Planet!

My Honest Thoughts on Environmentalism

Environmentalism is one of those things I could probably get behind if it wasn’t for how bad movies and TV shows never shut up about it. Anime is especially intolerable when it comes to preaching about how nature is great and civilization sucks. Have any of these writers actually seen nature? Don’t they know about parasitic wasps? At least the Alien kills you after it bursts out of your chest unlike parasitic wasp larva that turn their victims into zombies. Nature is mean, cruel, and doesn’t care about your stupid story’s moral. Basically, I really hate the nature=good and technology=bad dichotomy I see in Eco-themed stories and I find it rather hypocritical given that the only way I am even experiencing these stories is because of technology.
Strangely enough, having a good villain in these kinds of stories makes the problem even worse. Does anyone remember any of the other characters in FernGully beside Hexxus? Tim Curry is about the only good thing in that movie. Is there anyone who finds Jake Sully interesting in Avatar? I thought Colonel Miles Quaritch was the only fun character in the whole thing. If the bad guys are the only memorable part it kind of undermines the whole pro-eco message.
Funny enough, I don’t think the movie version of the Na’vi are Mary Sues. If you read the supplementary materials though, they are totally Mary Sues. Even their beer is better than ours. Also they never need divorces since their planet’s collective brain network knows if two Na’vi are compatible. Maybe it should set up a dating service on Earth?
Also I really hate Captain Planet. All of my favorite shows as a kid were canceled one by one to make way for yet more freaking Captain Planet. To me, Captain Planet represents some of the worst of the 90s; saccharine, faux multiculturalism, and shallow preaching about saving the environment to a bunch of stupid kids who can’t do much about it regardless. Maybe I’m just bitter that they canceled Swat Cats so Ted Turner could ram his pet project down my throat. Maybe I’m bought off by big corporations. I speak for the big businesses since they can’t speak for themselves! Oh wait. I don’t need to do that. The Lorrax does that now, the sellout.